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Turn Your Enemies into Friends

Turn Your Enemies into Friends

What does a person do to be considered as your enemy? He hates you. He is happy to condemn you. He will say bad things about you. He enjoys to see you in pain and suffering. He does not want anything good to happen to you. Given a chance, he can harm you. In spite of all these, you are supposed to speak well about your enemy, to do good things for him, and to pray for him to get blessings. Scripture says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat, if thirsty, something to drink…” (Proverbs 25:21). This is the only thing you can do if you believe that you are different from your enemy; that you are not as bad as him.

Many people want their enemies to be punished harshly or to experience suffering. This was the attitude of Prophet Jonah, who was swallowed by a fish. Jonah was an Israelite but God told him to go and preach to the people of the city of Nineveh so that they could be forgiven of their sins and receive God’s mercy. If they would not repent, God to would send them a severe punishment and their city would be totally destroyed. However, it was believed in Israel that the people of Nineveh were bad, merciless and sinful. Nineveh and Israel were sworn enemies. When God sent Jonah to Nineveh to alert them about God’s plan to destroy them, Jonah did not obey. He believed that Nineveh did not deserve God’s mercy, so he did not want them to repent. He wanted them to perish.

As a result, Jonah decided to run away from the assignment and took a ship to the opposite direction, towards Tarshish. God was not pleased that Jonah wished evil for his enemies, so he sent a great wind which led the sailors to throw Jonah in the sea. A fish which swallowed him luckily vomited him three days later and, after surviving death, Jonah willingly preached to the city of Nineveh. The people repented and God did not destroy their city as he had threatened. The story of Jonah teaches that God wants us to love everyone, whether we think they are enemies or not. There is nothing we gain from the suffering of our enemies. No one wants to be known as a cruel person, yet it is only cruelty that can make someone to celebrate when another person is suffering, even if it is the enemy.  David wrote, “Do not rejoice if your enemy falls or let your heart be glad if he stumbles…” (Proverbs 24:17). 

Scripture further says, “Do not hate your brother in your heart …. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbour as yourself….” (Leviticus 19:17-18). The Scribes tended to misinterpret this law. They claimed that the mere fact that they were required to love their neighbours implied that they should hate their enemies.  Jesus Christ teaches that all people - friendly and unfriendly, nearby and faraway - are brothers who originated from our forefather, Abraham, and have one heavenly Father, God. Therefore, we must love everyone without exception.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ proclaims, “… I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He makes his sun to rise on both the evil and good people, and gives rain to both the righteous and the wicked” (Matthew 5:44-45). When Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross at Calvary, he did not condemn his killers. He prayed for them instead, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). The Lord could not bring himself to the level of unkind people whose sole motivation was to inflict pain. This is why you must not react harshly to the hateful people because, in doing so, you imitate them and become equally bad. The best way to defeat your enemy is to find a way of making him your friend because, at that point, he will no longer hate you. Abraham Lincoln has asked, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” A legendary Chinese military strategist, Sun Tzu, also said, “The supreme art of war is to defeat the enemy without fighting.”

In the Code of the Covenant, God says, “If you see your enemy’s ox or donkey going astray, take it back to him. When you see a donkey of a man who hates you falling under its load, do not pass by but help him” (Exodus 23:4-5). Your enemy is likely to be disarmed by your kindness, which in turn will reduce on his level of hostility to you and ultimately eliminate the hatred. Martin Luther King Jr said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

It may sound crazy but your enemy can sometimes do something which you cannot get from your friend. When you love your enemies, you overcome evil with good, which helps you to grow spiritually. Your enemies also help you to take a closer look at your own life. As you try to find out why someone hates you, you are able to get a clearer view of yourself, to see the faults in your life and to find ways of being better. On the other hand, people who love you tend to protect you and minimise your weaknesses, therefore, you cannot improve easily. To increase your friends, conquer all your enemies and take them to your side!


Venansio Ahabwe is a lay Christian from the Archdiocese of Mbarara

By Venansio Ahabwe

Source: Gospel Truth, Leadership Magazine